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1981-1999
I was born in Boden, northern Sweden in 1981. I grew up as a christian midchild in my working class family without my father because of his problem with alcoholism, instead he left. I spent my childhood in a family filled with honesty and affection. My mother dedicated all her time and devotion to our upbringing. By the age of 5 I developed full posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) after I witnessed mother-assault by a her new boyfriend who also had drug problems. My mother broke up with him too and started to work as therapist to help with people that had drug abuse problem. I have four half-sisters, two who I am grown up with and two who I never meets. I declined my religion in my early teens and at the same time serious problems started to occur between me and my mother. I moved to Rogers family when I was 13. Roger who is at my age is like a brother to me in the same sense that I call my half-sisters for “sisters”. I did not care to attend upper level of compulsory school because I spent most time with role-playing, occultism. I also had criminal behavior. I chosed natural science as gymnasium but dropped the second year and had my first job, own living. During that time I experimented with lucid dreaming and drugs other then alcohol and found that cannabis was not more harmful.
2000
I had a software idea similar to GNU Xnee that was leading me to get in touch Innovation Västerbotten who financed the software project (exceptionally).
2001
I developed a download site for softwares. Most of these softwares was non-free softwares so I deleted the entire project in the end of 2005 when I took a standpoint to the free software community.
2005
After my third relationship I decided to find out who I really was and start a new life. Ethics and the community was something that I started valuing very high through the use of free software and I began systematically to start living by those standards. I learned how to use GNU/Linux and wrote a simple BASH script used for setup system administration.
2006-2008
I developed a free website revision system in 2008 called GNU Sovix running on this website to promote the free software movement. Later I developed a free software I used to calculate vegan rawfoodish diets for endurance athletes and bioremediation to promote the animal justice movement.
2009
I was lazy for many years when I just committed myself to my own interests without taking responsibility for solving my inner emotional conflicts. After several periods after trying to find peace of mind with meditation I gave up. I started to self-medicate [legal] entheogens (drugs used as complements in a spiritual context) as alternative drug treatment for my DSPS, PTSD, HPPD (anxiety caused), OCPD, personality disorders that I found out that I had this year. I've never used any medication earlier. Also, there is no widely accepted that the research chemicals that produce entheogenic effects count as entheogens so therefore I took the initiative to spread this from Entheogens.org. I started to focus on spritual practices at the end of the year.
2010
I started to chronic self-medicate the enthegenic antidepressant Peganum harmala to cure my depression by neurogenesis and not just stablizing the mood. MAOIs changed my life and by helping me to find myself.
I am a science fiction fan who write time series forecastings.
I have devoted the bulk of my energies to political and spiritual freedom activism. I serve as a full time and unpaid volunteer for different communities. Professing to care little for material wealth. I admire the work of Alexander Shulgin (psychopharmacologist and chemist), Prabhat Ranjan Sarkar (social revolutionary) and Ram Dass.
I recommend avoiding certain terms which I consider misleading, and advocate using other terms instead. I document my standpoints that my political notes and long-term action items are based upon. I sympathize with some radical left philosophies. The reason why I write about my political activism is because of the good press freedom in Sweden and that might change in the future. My mother tongue is Swedish, and I have a working knowledge of English. I am single and do not seek relations. I'm no ufamilliar to hear that I live in a utopia or have a eccentric personality. I don't belive that people with ecclesiastical titles are holy, “the chooser becomes the chosen”, you were born to be king over your own life.
Antiscience
Why are we so intrested in space science when we do not even understand out inner universe? I think it is far more important to study the mind then to get a formal education dedicated to a career. I am a mystic and pacifist who belive in world peace. I am determined to stay as a progressive social justice activist and pacifist till my last breath. I strongly believe in the value of pragmatic idealism, faith, and free will.
Subpersonality types: [investigated, the average person has about a dozen subpersonalities]
Personality traits: Conscientiousness, highly sensitive person (HSP), latent inhibition, grit, neurotic, openness to experience, perfectionist, surgency, type A personality, virtue (piety, idealistic), whiz kid.
My brain seem to be left-hemisphere dominated (I'm right-handed but a non-clinical test also reveal this) but I practice mind mapping to break the barrier to become a whole-brain, holistic thinker. I'm doing that primary to get free with feelings (left-hemisphere) rather than controlling feelings (right-hemisphere). I would describe my three strongest sides as courageous, honest, and have good self-confidence. My three major weaknesses is low self-esteem, have hard for critic and is perfectionist. My most neutral side is that I'm experimental.
Personality disorders: DSPS, HPPD, OCPD, PTSD.
OCPD
I constantly work, some people may call me a workaholic. I am, I spend most of my life in front of my computer working on my multiple websites. I rarely go out and do things with friends and spend time just plain relaxing.
Acting as if my life is perfect is just that - acting. It's not real. Its a persona, a character, a mask. And all that does is keep my true self hidden.
It feel a lot easier to just try to let go of maintaining all these masks. It gets lonely behind there. I have to trust my family will still love me, imperfection and all.
Various cultures have had conceptions of a flat earth and still have the conception that drugs are connected to evil forces, even when they are used in a spiritual context (entheogens). I have false belief in that and referre to that as The Myth of the Evil Drugs. I belive that it is we who are crazy and thus doesn't realize this. While I won't say that drugs are necessary for spiritual and philosophical development, they do provide an interesting perspective and helped catalyze ideas in my mind.
My first true entheogenic experience was 2009. MDPV HCL, 46 mg / 70 kg bw, intravenous over a period of 7 hours and 21 minutes [with legal immunity: 2009-01-21, Sweden] as exposure and response prevention (ERP) agent for my personality disorders. It was carried out effectively with maximal face-to-face contact with a well trusted guide. I confronted my fears and discontinued my escape response with inner peace. After several hours kundalini energy released that removed withdrawal symtoms and gave me insomnia for 5 1/2 wonderful days with peaked perceptions. I challenged hypomania with my newly developed coping skills and bursted in tears followed by one day sleep. This was a life transforming and awakening experience at the same time. — David Englund
Exposure and response prevention is a cognitive behavioral therapy treatment used to cure OCPC that I had. Recent results (Lovell et al., see below) indicate that ERP can be carried out effectively with minimal face-to-face contact between the therapist and the subject. This is described as the brotherhood of breath in The Psychedelic Experience: A manual based on the Tibetan Book of the Dead. In positive psychology, anxiety is described as a response to a difficult challenge for which the subject has poor coping skills.
This also gave me understanding that drugs that is known to cause drug dependence even can heal if they are used correctly. Drugs has and allways will exist so if we don't learn how to deal with them they will allways be a problem. Learn everything you can about the material and stay away from all information that's clearly geared to encourage or discourage its use.[Shulgin] Physical depdendence entheogens should not be more descriminated then psychological dependence entheogens like ketamine or other drugs that is used for exposure and response prevention therapy like Datura.
Wine and mead was actally used as entheogens to get in contact with spirits but today we typically call alchol for spirits for recreational drug use and often overcusume it. Why alcohol and other drugs are abused is because its hard to resist ego for the norm mentality. Narcissists are also well represented within drug-addicted populations. Stimulants does not just make users feel euphoric, but it simultaneously releases brain chemicals related to fear and stress — bad feelings that linger after the euphoria fades. This is motivated by egoism, the oposit of ego-death that can be induced with some entheogens. So if methamphetamine for example is taken in anxiogenic dose and one prevent anxiety and egoism with inner peace and egolessness they will be released from the body instead of getting stronger.
Opponent against drug vaccines
Drug use are not, and never can be, hard or so-called 'objective' data on why drug use happens.[John Booth Davies, The Myth of Addiction] So what the world need is not a drug vaccine (a cocaine vaccine is developed at the moment for example) that act as “silverbullet” to eliminate drug cravings for life. It will be impossible for us to learn how to deal with egoism if drug vaccines become standard given to kids, out next generation. And it has never been more important for the humanity to learn that taken into account that we are soon overpopulated on so forth. We need to understand ourselves and learn to protect the good within us and prevent fears to take over. I think the drug craving phenomena would cease to exist if we did that.
Physical dependence is exaggerated
True addiction has traditionally meant being physically dependent on something, so that if it's withdrawn, you go through a crisis that may be life-threatening. Very few drugs satisfy that criterion, although barbiturates come close.
I remember a demonstration medical school about a cat that was given a barbiturate in a regular IP injection. The cat came to expect its injection and turned up every day at noon time to receive it. This went on for about eight months. One day, the cat got saline instead of barbiturate. Within two or three hours, the cat was dead. That is true physical dependency. That is addiction according to its archetypic definition.[ref]
I personally tend to avoid the word addiction because of the baggage it carries with it - social unacceptability, legal involvement, pharmacological dependency. I like the word dependency because for one thing it avoids the addiction word; and secondly, it allows me to define two types of dependency - physical dependency and psychological dependency.[Shulgin]
Against non-neurogenic medicines where neurogenic medication is possible
Entheogens is used with with minimal risk when we have balanced brain chemistry so neurogenic medication like MAOI can be used to grow new neurotransmitter receptors. Many entheogens when used in a medical context cure diseases by neurogenesis unlike many modern medicines that causes adverse effects. For example, the ancient entheogen and antidepressant Peganum harmala can cure depression by neurogenesis; The effects of low doses are sometimes referred to as “the harmala buzz”, as it tends to cause a buzzing feeling throughout the head and body. The buzzing effect can be described as the opposite pole of withdrawal by chemical dependency that instead cures depression, and has also shown efficacy in smoking cessation. Interruption, dose reduction, or discontinuation of SSRI on the other hand is known to cause “SSRI is known to SSRI discontinuation syndrome”.
Alcohol
Alcohol has the effect of being libidinally stimulating at moderate doses at the same time that the ego feels empowered and social boundaries are felt to lose some of their restraining power. Often these feelings are accompanied by a sense of verbal facility ordinarily out of reach. The difficulty with all of this is that research findings suggest these fleeting effects are usually followed by a narrowing of awareness, a diminishing of ability to respond to social cues, and an infantile regression into loss of sexual performance, loss of general motor control, and consequent loss of self-esteem. Moderation in drinking seems the obvious course. Yet alcoholism is a major and unremitting problem throughout global society. I believe that the alcohol abuse syndrome is symptomatic of the state of disequilibrium and tension existing between men and women and between the individual and society. Alcoholism is a condition of ego obsession and inability to resist the drive toward immediate gratification. [Terence McKenna, Food of the Gods, p80]
Alcohol is legal because it makes a great deal of money for huge corporations and the government. It also keeps us distracted and entertained without thinking. Getting drunk is a form of escapism in cut-throat capitalist societys, and so the government permits it. Alcohol is a neurotoxin; Binge drinking is associated with neurocognitive deficits of frontal lobe processing and impaired working memory as well as delayed auditory and verbal memory deficits.[ref][ref] Advice on weekly consumption is avoided in United Kingdom to battle binge drinking.[ref] Moderate drinkers tend to have better cognitive function than both abstainers and heavy drinkers. An international study of almost 6,000 men and 11,000 women found that persons who reported that they drank more than 2 units of alcohol a day had an increased risk of fractures compared to non-drinkers. For example, those who drank over 3 units a day had nearly twice the risk of a hip fracture.[ref] “Maximum health advantage” for men over 40 lies between one and two units a day[ref]. Alcohol has been used as en entheogen in combination with insomnia by some shamans.
Useful links about alcohol:- Alcohol and cancer
- Alcohol and cardiovascular disease
- Alcohol and health
- Alcohol dependence
- Alcoholic hepatitis
- Alcoholic liver disease
- Alcoholism
- Alcoholism in family systems
- Binge drinking
- Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder
- Fetal alcohol syndrome
- Insomnia on alcohol
- Long-term effects of alcohol
- Self-medication on CNS depressants (alcohol) and self-medicated effectiveness on alcohol
- Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome
Drug re-legalization
All drugs should be made legal internationally because they are nothing else then propaganda; drug laws do not regulate drugs, drug laws regulate people. I would say the most damaging aspect of many drugs and drug use today is the law, which often does more harm than the drugs themselves.[Shulgin].
Some people seem to think that some drugs have been banned because the government “cares about our welfare.”. Do not fool yourselves. The government does not care about your welfare. Alcohol and cigarettes is some of the deadliest, most profitable and most addictive drugs out there, and they legalized those. Why would you assume they'd care enough to ban others?
The United Nations lavishly praised drug decriminalization in its annual report on the state of global drug policy. In 2008, the UN drug czar had expressed skepticism about Portugal's decriminalization, which removed criminal penalties in 2001 for personal drug possession and emphasized treatment over incarceration. The UN had suggested the policy was in violation of international drug treaties and would encourage “drug tourism.”. But in its 2009 World Drug Report, the UN had little but kind words for Portugal's radical (by U.S. standards) approach.[ref]
One of United Nations stated aim is achieving of world peace. In world peace there could be no law enforcement, because force is a form of violence. Therefore all drugs must be legal.
The Czech Republic joined Portugal as a European Union country that has decriminalized drug possession (in the Netherlands, marijuana is quasi-legal — not officially legal.).
The Czech overall drug arrest rate is 1 per 100,000 population. The United States' overall drug arrest rate is 585 per 100,000 population.
The Czech robbery rate is 2 per 100,000 population. The United States' robbery rate is 145.9 per 100,000 population, according to our FBI.[ref]
For the drug cartels, drug prohibition laws means employment, easy money, good times, shiny new cars, and new suits. Also, descructive people tend to be desctructive against law and destructive in their drug use. For instance, alcohol prohibition in 1920 created an atmosphere that allowed crime to fester, an atmosphere which the mafia exploited.
How much does the drug war cost American taxpayers? $40 billion per year and climbing. In addition, according to White House estimates, 57% of Americans in need of drug treatment do not receive it, in spite of its proven cost effectiveness in reducing drug use.[Drug Policy Alliance]. War can never be justified; The war on drug is a war on mental states. It is a war on consciousness itself. This propaganda technique comparable thoughtcrime or, in Newspeak (which comes the language itself), “crimethink”.
Any person anywhere who experiments on himself, or on another human being, with any drug, without being familiar with that drug's action and aware of the physical and/or mental disturbance or harm it might cause, is acting irresponsibly and immorally, whether or not he is doing so within the bounds of the law.[Shulgin]
It is historical and cultural precedents rather than pharmacology, economic or risk benefit analysis which provides for the distinction between legal and illegal drugs.[Casey]. Scientists want new drug rankings.[BBC News]. Schools should teach drug education to promote responsible decision making regarding drugs.
DMT and 5-MeO-DMT is often classified as a dangerous drug (due to political reasons) even though it is very non-toxic, non-addictive, and safe. However, DMT and 5-MeO-DMT is unique in that every person is technically guilty of DMT and 5-MeO-DMT possession where such laws against it exist, as the chemical is created in the body. Its speculated that DMT is relsead from the pineal gland during dreams and meditation by the way. That would mean that meditation (DMT released from the brain) and use of DMT change the mind to the same ASC. The Religious Freedom Restoration Act allow both 5-MeO-DMT and DMT in the US:
Internationally, Article 32, paragraph 4 of the United Nations Convention on Psychotropic Substances allows nations to exempt certain traditional uses of entheogens from prohibition:
“A State on whose territory there are plants growing wild which contain psychotropic substances from among those in Schedule I and which are traditionally used by certain small, clearly determined groups in magical or religious rites, may, at the time of signature, ratification or accession, make reservations concerning these plants, in respect of the provisions of article 7, except for the provisions relating to international trade.”
Entheogens
I love entheogens (drugs that produces a spiritual effect)!
Again, various cultures have conceptions that drugs are connected to evil forces no matter how they are used, including entheogens. In most western countries it is social accepted by many people to use alcohol for recreation purposes. From the scientific point of view, alcohol is usally denied as being a drug because they fear that they might abuse something. They think that drug use in a spiritual context is frightening as a psychological self-defense as its totally unknown to them because its not socially accepted. But think of it, it is concidered healthy to have fun and be be spritiual in a sober condition, so why should it not be ok to use drugs for the same reasons? It is not a weakness but a strenght to seek help and entheogens can give you that assistance. I've learned that visionary experiences are much more important than the drugs that produce them in the same way that life altering transformation are mutch more important then memories. The goal should be to metaprogram my brain to the degree where I no longer need to take entheogens for journeys. Entheogens also help gain personal independence from established medicines like non-neurogenic antidepressants.
I advocate drugs that can produce entheogenic effects including entheogens, entheogenic medicines, and entheogenic nootropical. A spiritual practices that is easy to learn but yet powerful is diaphragmatic breathing. That should be learned as the standard way of breating for optimal oxygen uptake. Synthetic and hard drugs can be used as entheogens too (please read “ego theory on drug dependence”). I think that recreational drug use without therapheutic intention (eg escapism) is drug abuse. Alcohol and sedative/hypnotic drugs, such as barbiturates and benzodiazepines are generally ineffective antidepressants, as most are short-acting, the rapid onset of alcohol and sedative/hypnotics softens rigid defenses and, in low to moderate doses, provides the illusion of relief from depressive affect and anxiety.
To subtract entheogens from our humanity is to deny part of our history that made us what we are today. Entheogens have the capacity and guidance to develop chronic inner peace. Spiritual practices and chemicals affect different receptors in the brain on their own. Entheogens is chemicals (whether they are contained in organisms or not) used in a spiritual context. I do not see personal disorders as “gifts” because they are nothing then denials of ourselves that create more disorders if they are not treated. For example, psychopathy is associated with dysfunctional brain parts, perhaps because psychopaths deny empathy to others. Does that mean that we cease to exist if we deny our selves completely? Sometimes I model “personal disorders” as teachers who learn us that we must change attitude torwards life in order to get cured. These collective consciousness, or teachers, can be induced by altered states of consciousness. I do not agree with neoshamanism and its new age relations who tends to dismiss the existence of evil, fear, and failure that is essential in traditional or core shamanism. Fear is learned and must be unlearned, to diminish a fear, you must first face it. I support New Age Frauds and Plastic Shamans (NAFPS) and life-process model of addiction. Addiction is a choice, not a disease, but its easy to blame drug dependence. Addicts tend to believe that they are not the masters of their own fate, that control lies outside of them.Robert B. Millman
The use of entheogens have played a pivotal role for me as complements for spiritual practice. I have never been drug dependence but I have used drugs for self-healing. These drugs have been used in psychiatry to cure personal disorders like OCD and PTSD. I am bound for the ascetic life; I only use drugs for medical and spiritual purposes, and non-smoker. In general I don't recommend drugs; There are risks and benefits involved with taking any drug. It should be up to the person taking the drug to weigh up those risks against the benefits for themselves, and decide for himself whether or not to take the drug. The very reason why hallucinogens are not accepted is because the man has become so egocentric that they are mostly used for escapist or recreational drug use.
— 2008. GNU Sovix.
— 2009. Entheogens.org.
Ego death is one of the most important experiences we encounter during our lives in order to be altruistic. I have a simple axiom that I totally believe in; Always face your greatest ego, in any consciousness, including in altered states of consciousness (ASC) and it will be transformed with something beautiful.
For example, if you feel pain, go into details where your pain, where it is located, and go into it. If it was a pain in the stomach, think about opening your mouth, and going down into your mouth and describe what you see. It's dark, it's this, that, and keep on going. Describe what you see as you go down. Go all the way down, into your insides. Frequently you will burst into a beautiful world of paradise. The pain would immediately be transformed into ecstasy.
I balance between freethinking and agnosticism:
Freethinking; I try to prove things for myself with experience that I think can be proven by science and logic in the future instead of belive that things are in a certain way. I'm convinced that we are not alone in universe for example.
To quote Isabel Clarke: “I maintain that a radical shift in world-view, from naive technocratic scientism and towards a postmodern, more spiritually informed “new paradigm” perspective opens up creative, liberating and potentially healing avenues for thinking about and understanding the widest spectrum of human subjective experience.” — Psychosis and Spirituality: Exploring the New Frontier
Agnosticism;
P.M.H. Atwater studied over 270 child NDErs. She found that:
“Our entire universe is contained in the mind and the spirit. We may choose not to find access to it, we may even deny its existence, but it is indeed there inside us, and there are chemicals that can catalyze its availability.“[Alexander Shulgin]
“During our lives, we may fill this void with many things such as: love, hatred, happiness, sadness, knowledge, ignorance, family, just to name a few. And when we die, we actually step into this spiritual dimension we have filled. Whatever we fill the void within us with, at death, we enter into it. Perhaps this is one good reason why the most important aspect of our missions in life have to do with love. Realizing, filling and cultivating divine love within our void and sharing this love with others during our life will create a heavenly paradise that will be manifested in death.
Together with the earthbound realm, the void is known by many religious traditions as hell, purgatory, or outer darkness to name a few.
Some people may remain in the void for one reason or another until they are ready to leave it. Choosing [positive] energy over [negative] is the key to being freed from the void. For some this might feel like a unberable eternity and their only hope is perhaps only reincarnation.“[Kevin Williams]
Positive emotions attracts positive energy and vice verca transfered via ectoplasm through the universe faster then the speed of light (Microvitum). These insights can seem strange and distant, when they are not integrated properly into one's life, which is why entheogen use, meditation, praying, yoga, etc. have no real impact when they are not realized in context of a serious spiritual or religious practice.
I belive in and struggle for my highest wish, world peace. We have to begin the process of world peace by coming to peace within ourselves. It is our duty to take full responsibility for our own actions. Like supporting different movements and theories of rights that I belive have a huge impact at local, regional, national, international and global levels on gaia. I remained opposed to most forms of organized religion or cults, or guru-based forms of spiritual awakening. Despite philosophical differences, all major world religions have the same potential to create good human beings. We are all brothers and sisters, friends and familys. I am not a supporter of any political party but has a keen interest in political issues; I put emphasis on separation of church and state and warns that a world government might become a imperial cult ruled by a cult of personality. I remains committed to talk about the importance of these human values and share them with everyone I meets. I am convinced that inner peace is the key to world peace and that inner conflicts is the weapon to world conflicts.
I think it is important that we inform people about descriptive techno-criticist of human RFID chip implants, notably Verichip, because global privacy issues will arise when national ID cards get replaced with international ID chips. Capitalism is just a modern form of slavery so it will most likely be compulsory to wear this tracking devices just to use money in the future. I would not be supprised if such power abuse would lead to planetary state terrorism run by a world government where we, the rebels is associated with terror. If that happens, som people will realize that the puppet states act as terroist when they are under full control. Don't be afraid to refuse to wear this tracking device, be courageous and just say no.
Personality traits that I want to achive: Ambiversion. Achive high humility. Disolve alter ego completely!
My goal is to be to become a polymath and more consciousness through spiritual practice. I want to get involved in more social movements and travel around the world to learn and by different cultures. I want live in a free society.
I have a dreams to found a revolutionary movement, a ecovillage, an international non-profit organization and achive spiritual enlightenment.
My pipedream is that world peace comes true where we all can live together in happiness despite specie, culture, belief system or religion.
76% reported a comforting "initial" experience. Such experiences involved up to three elements, things like a loving nothingness, a friendly voice, a visitation by a loving being, an out-of-body experience, and/or the peacefulness of either a safe light or safe dark place
[ref]
Recommended links
By Timothy Leary, Ph.D., Ralph Metzner, Ph.D., & Richard Alpert, Ph.D.
Other websites of interest:
Contact
Email
GPG public fingerprint
You shouldn't sign or trust this without additional verification, though.pub 1024D/A9CDF299 2006-12-07
Key fingerprint = CC56 802D 423A 498C BF10 9301 5345 3E18 A9CD F299
uid David Englund
sub 4096g/B25C2AD0 2006-12-07
GPG public key
pubkey.asc ThanksI would like to thank:
- My family and my friends for all the support and patience.
- Entheogens that helped me change my life for the better.
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Please send comments on these web pages to dbenglund at dbenglund period org.